How did you choose your church?
If you've ever changed churches within your town, how did you go about it?
Our only church changes have happened with moves, so we're stumped. Our current church is a wonderful place full of lovely people where the Bible is accurately taught. It is just no longer a "fit" for our family.
Which brings up the question, is it okay to change just because of the "fit" issue? In general terms, our two main problems are these: the children's ministry is too fast-paced and changing (think Disney Church) for WonderBoy, who has autism and really needs low-key structure to feel safe; and the Student Ministries of our very large (for our town) church teaches on topics that must be relevant to many kids, but are completely outside the realm of Teen Queen's experiences. We've seen more of her innocence taken away at church than anywhere else. Additionally, as a home schooled kid, she doesn't really have any friends even though we've been at that church for over 7 years. The kids generally hang with the other kids from their schools, which is encouraged by how the kids are separated for small group activities.
I really meant for this to be short, because I am anxious to read others' ideas on this subject.
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14 comments:
I chose my church largely because of the youth there. I visited a church and was amazed at the godly beauty of their teenagers. I had a teen at the time and immediatly switched churches. It proved to be a wonderful thing. I had been praying for a year for a different church as the one I was attending was drifting badly!
Your reasons sound like very logical ones to leave over.
I do not think you are searching for any wrong reason at all, sounds very reasonable to me. I am so sorry about your daughter learning "more" than you wished :(
My church I've gone to since I was a teen, and wanted to date a boy. His parents would NOT let us date but would let me tag along to any and all church activities. Long after the boy and his family left the church I was still there :)
There are times when our church doesnt (In my humble opinion) meet our every need but its scripturally sound, its ultra conservative and we've been there so long its like home away from home.
My best advice is to find other homeschooling families with similar values in your community and poll them. And pray of course. Could be maybe God is going to open a different door INSIDE your current church that fits your needs better. Wow I didnt intend this to be so long either LOL xoxo melzie
I think the reasons you gave are very appropriate reasons for finding a new church.
I'm also looking for a new church. There are many reasons for wanting to leave, and some of mine mirror yours.
I just prayed. Asked God to show me the right church, when I moved into this town. I did visit one church, but didn't really find it "mine". Already the language was a barrier - it was a Swedish speaking church and my Swedish isn't that good... But God then put a certain person on my way and she told me about this church I had never heard of before. I went to check it out and was immediately like at home.
I've been going there for 19 years now and the people are like my family. It's not a perfect church, but it's the place God showed me and I couldn't even imagine joining some other church in this town.
God will show you, you only need to ask and keep an open mind.
I really appreciate everyone's thoughtful answers. We are praying as a family, and Mr. Clem is doing a great job leading our family into this new area. It helps to know that our reasons seem valid.
Hello Clementine, I once again cannot read your post. I guess others can see it but for me half is cut off. Really strange. I can see the cloud post but not the one above it.
Aha when I posted I could read the whole thing!!! Ok Im weird. Ill go read and get back to you.
Oh wow I am doing this very thing right now.
My circumstance is we began a church before my son went into High school. Our church is 30 minutes from home. Caleb my son doesnt fit!! He would like to be with kids he goes to school with. So we are visiting now.
What I did was google all the churches in our area, then I go on line to the web sites and see what the church offers as far ashis activities and mine that we are interested in. Then I narrow it down to 3 at a time and go visit.
I found the one nearest to his school wasnt a fit because we didnt feel welcomed and Caleb wants to try another on Sunday. I have found that if I give hime some things to look for and involve him it is a great experience for both of us. The key is we do not judge at all.
This is a hard move because we both love where we are, but we feel God nudging.
We are going to do this for several more weeks then choose.
Paulette, if you have time, I'd love to read updates as you make your way through your list. This is a fascinating subject to me, and I'm so curious about how others go about it. Thanks for taking the time to leave your thoughts.
Hey Clementine, I would love to update on it. Automatically with each church visit we look for....
1. The size of the church, if the church is to small sometimes they wont offer alot of ministries.
We are interested in, Youth activities, S.S. Youth choir ( caleb sings in school choir and enjoys it) Do they have a missions program for youth? Very important to us. A wednesday activity that is exciting and the kids are being taught biblical principles as well as fun. Youth minister, does he gel with the kids?
For me, I sing, so choir is a biggy. Ensemble. Do they do a variety of worship music. I love traditional worship as well as praise worship. Alot of churches here do one of each service.
I also look for plenty of womans ministries as well, I love missions.
Most important to me is the Pastor. I want to be fed the word. It is a big turn off if you cannot glean a word he says. If he is in the bible, and personable, and keeps my attention, I go by those leads. I also want a pastor who is compassionate about people's circumstances such as divorce, and other needs within the church.
Also real important to make sure the church has adequate classes and activities for each age of your children. I believe if there is not adequate childrens ministries with good curiculum you lose them in the gap.
Every families needs are different but I find if I look for different things in a church it helps when we visit.
So keeping this in mind we visited a church Sunday and was pretty pleased so we are going to visit there Sunday again, the check out another on the list. This will not go on forever but there is no rush when looking.
Sorry so long
I have walked through that door before. Definitely pray about it.
I will warn you that people do tend to feel a little defensive if they think you are leaving out of critisim of their church. We found that really uplifting to them what we loved about their church and then giving a short explanation on why we were leaving helped. However, there will be those that will be hurt and withdraw no matter what. I will pray for you and your family. It is a tough choice to make.
We just moved 30 minutes away and joined a new church. We chose it because it was a church "planted" by our former church, so we knew the pastor and some of the members. Our first reason for choosing a church is based on the theology they claim to believe and how strictly they adhere to preaching the Word. It is important to us that we are comfortable with the worship style. We have three young kids, and we are glad to have other young families so they have friends, but as a very young church (only a year old) there are limited programs for the kids at this point. We will be involved in helping as they develop those, but we also are willing to go elsewhere for Awana or something if need by in the meanwhile.
Hope you find peace in whatever you decide.
It sounds to me like you are looking out for your family even protecting them. If you and hubby both feel it is a time for a change then follow his lead and go. Finding a new church home will probably take some time but I don't think it is wrong of you to change. It is about loving/serving God and fellowship. I agree with LL that prayer is key.
I'm new to your blog and I'm obviously reading old posts. Have you found a church? We have moved within the same town, and returned! Just wondering if you had found a new church home.
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