The Maxed-Out Mama

This is my response to this post at Big Mama's
. Essentially, she had a bummer of a day with her darling daughter and had a whopping case of Mommy Guilt. You'll want to click over and read it because in this, as in anything she writes, she is eloquent, sweet and touching. Stay awhile and read the forty-eleven comments.

I had one child for 5 years. Now I have 4, and two of them have disabilities. The "maxed out" feeling is remarkably similar now with four as it was then with one.

My Mothering Mentor wisely instructed me. She told me that there would be days like the one Big Mama described. I should plan on it and plan FOR it.

Could we just abandon all pretense of productivity and take a chocolate pudding finger paint bath? Load up and head to the park? Occasionally, yes, and we did.

Did I HAVE to get THIS done TODAY? Occasionally, yes. Then I called for reinforcements and felt no shame. I've always had a couple of "that kind of friend", who I knew I could call on to take the spawn of my womb for a few hours. My friends call on my in the same way.

And on a few occasions where there was nothing wrong except my own inability to cope, someone would call just to swap Howdys and she could tell by the tone of my voice (and the Holy Spirit whispering to her heart) that I needed help. Within 20 minutes the kid(s) would be gone and I'd be in the tub crying my eyes out. By dinnertime (takeout - duh!) things would look so much better.

Then there have been the times when I just had to suck it up. So I did. Not with any degree of maternal fabulosity, but Mr. Clem had the same number of kids when he got home as when he left for work, so I counted the day a success.

One last thing: I HAVE to have something I'm looking forward to. When there's not something refreshing/renewing/fun in the foreseeable future, I have a really tough time. We aim really hard for that weekly date, never pass up a chance to be childless overnight and have taken almost as many "honeymoons" (5 or more consecutive days of child-free living) as we've had anniversaries. I hope that doesn't read like the desperate shirking of motherly duty, because, I assure you, my kids are mothered with enthusiasm on a daily, hourly, homeschool basis. We also watch for every opportunity to provide them with enjoyable, refreshing fun. We all need it, and the better they are at knowing how to refuel their tanks, the better they will parent my precious, perfect, adorable, yet-to-be-born grandchildren.

Hey! I just remembered! This is Wednesday, and I just wrote about something that Works For Me! See what else is working at Rocks In My Dryer.