It has come to my attention that my comment on BooMama's Southern Showdown has been selected as the Most Southern Polite Invitation Decline(ation?). Oh my, my. I think I have the vapors.
Thanks to BooMama and the folks who got a chuckle out of my entries:
Oh, Sugar, it’s so sweet of you to ask, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to join you because…
…I promised LouWana I’d carry her over t’ the state line package store so that nobody from church would see her buyin’ the Southern Comfort to make Paula Deen’s punch recipe for the sewin’ circle.
…I got a bone in m’ leg.
Oh, and I thought of one more:
…that’s the same time as my appointment at The Kut ‘n’ Kurl, and it took me three months to get my weekly’s made for the same time as Miss Ada’s and you know I don’t normally eavesdrop, but you can’t help but hear Miss Ada when she’s under the dryer and I’ll swanee that woman tells everything she knows and since your Daddy’s sister quit talkin’ to us when I happened to comment on her new grandbaby’s beautiful dark coloring and how I didn’t recall ever seeing anything like that on their side of the family before, I don’t have any other way of knowing what’s going on with that part of the family since Daddy won’t pick up the phone to call somebody unless it’s Doc down at the salvage to see if he has any more Ford bumpers because it seems like he pulls one off at least once a month and I don’t have the faintest idea what he could be tryin’ to pull with the bumper of the truck but I don’t guess it’s any of my business and it really doesn’t matter because Miss Ada said last week that Mamaw was feelin’ poorly again and had gone back to giving away all the little do-nothin’s she keeps on that ledge that runs the length and breadth of that double-wide and who knows but that she’s really sick this time and you KNOW that when she does pass on that she PROMISED me her Rosepoint silverware, and yes ma’am, she meant the dinner set AND the luncheon set, but if she goes on and I don’t get there before Earlene that dinner set will be GONE so you see I really can’t join you this time, but bless your heart for askin’.
But how I beat out Fiddledeedee is a mystery to me:
“Oh hon, I really can’t go because that sausage I picked up from the Piggly Wiggly gave me the “scoots” and this morning I looked just liked I’d been pulled through a knot hole.”
THAT one sent me right over the edge. I can imagine it being said by any of a number of my sweet relatives. Perhaps Ms. Deedee and I should have joint custody of the priz
e ---------------------->Want to know what the best part is? I'll have something to blog about when the book comes. Right now, besides my little Southern Smackdown, all I have is the mystery of the disappearing panties, and y'all don't really want to read about that.
16 comments:
Excuse me while I post out of context to...
Convention? I'm supposed to be going to conventions? Eeeeek! That explains a lot. ;)
Can't...speak...gasping...for breath!
ROFLMBO!
Well, as a Southern girl born and bred, I loved, loved, LOVED your excuse, especially the Rosepoint silver touch! Miss BooMama had a lot to choose from, and I do have to agree Fiddledeedee's was right on as well. Like you, I could picture several of my kinfolk offering either of your's! Very funny stuff!
Well, Miss Fiddldeedee IS the first runner up, so if you cannot fulfill your duties, she will hit you over the head with a bouquet of roses and snatch that crown right off your head. Oh yes ma'am she will.
My goodness, I have been reading the wrong blogs lately I guess. How did I miss out on all this fun. Being a MidWesterner, I have not had the privelege of such Southern conversations. I know a few people from southern states, but I don't think I have met the true Southern Belles.
If I weren't so tired and didn't have so many family members within earshot that I would wake up, I would be laughing and crying right now. I'm having to chuckle and smirk instead. I'll be back tomorrow to read more.
I laughed so hard at both of yours. I seemed to have missed Fiddle's on Boo's post though.
Congrats! Don't forget the little people you know when you're famous...
GB: Yep. There's conventions. And they're fun, if "fun" for you is standing directly in front of a firehose. Ask Everyday Mommy. When she gets her breath.
I'd like to hear anything, absolutely anything you have to say - I truly wonder if you ever speak plain ole normal conversation to your family, or are they in stitches all the time? xoxo
Hey, I used your excuse over the weekend. I tell you it WORKED!
Congrats on your win! You made me snort. :>)
Becky, you may pay me in cash or corn squeezin's, your choice.
;~D.
My hubby and I are just rollin' on the couch reading all this.....oh, I mean we're LAUGHING, just laughing!
Anyway, we have a question. Even though we're both born and raised in MS, and we've heard of "I swanee" but we don't know what it means exactly. Can you help??
You deserved to win that!! I was ROFL when I read that at Boomamas! Oh and so I don't have to comment on two posts...sounds lazy huh? ;-)....I LOVE the picture below.
Boy, I wish I was from the South...No one from Seattle WA has excuses like that! :)
Oh my. I wanted to check you out when I saw you with one of my most favorite people in the blogging world, Jules. And I saw this. Honestly, you were hysterical. I only wish I could blog about my southern relatatives, but sadly, they sometimes accidentally read my blog. Can't take the chance. Such a shame.
And first runner up ain't so bad. No pressure, you know!!!
Post a Comment